We don’t talk about the Bontas
State Assembly (18th District) & state attorney general
Please, for the love of Willie Brown, stop asking questions about the Bontas. Please.
Oh what’s that? You think you should do at least a little bit of thinking about what the implications might be of having a power couple where the husband is California’s attorney general and the wife is a state assembly member? You think before deciding how to vote that it’s important for you to know how these two people—who have, since meeting as freshmen at Yale University, passed money and power back and forth like mononucleosis—think about the issues?
It’s not, get real. Who are you going to vote for instead? The guy who changed his party affiliation from American Independent Party of California to Democratic Party in January? The guy from Huntington Beach campaigning on transphobia? Get real.
Oakland Review of Books
Oh, okay, so you think it’s a little weird that, after Biden appointed Xavier Becerra to his cabinet and Gavin Newsom had to appoint Rob Bonta to replace Becerra as California’s attorney general, Mia Bonta—Rob’s wife!—suddenly decided that being CEO of the besmirched nonprofit Oakland Promise wasn’t challenging enough for her, and she rushed through the centrist candidate factory otherwise known as Emerge California and started fundraising for her campaign to replace her husband before even writing out her positions? You think it’s not exactly healthy to live in a district where your state assemblymember election played out like a storyline from the inimitable CBS legal political drama The Good Wife?
No, you don’t. And you know what? Even if you do, that’s not your business. We Filipinos have a political machine here, in case you didn’t know. You let us worry about the Bontas, okay? You wait for Rob Bonta to go too far with some sports thing or gambling case (even if all signs allegedly indicate that he won’t) so that Pablo Torre can justify taking on the Bontas. If Pablo Torre isn’t worried about the Bontas, why are you worried about the Bontas? Do you think you know more than Pulitzer Prize–winning muckraker Pablo Torre?
That’s what we thought, you peasant. It’s our turn to ask questions now, and we’re asking you to think about everything the Bontas have done for you. Did they let the merger between Paramount and Warner Brothers go through, allegedly at Newsom’s behest, and thus sentence us to a lifetime of living in Larry Ellison’s media landscape? Fine, yes, sure, they absolutely did that. But also: Do you remember who Mia Bonta was up against in the run-off for Rob Bonta’s state Assembly race in 2021? Do you wish Janani Ramachandran was your state assemblymember instead of your councilmember? Do you think her music would be better if she was? Do you think there would be less of it? In a Sliding Doors scenario, is that a better world?
We all know the answer to that. Please, stop asking questions, and thank Willie Brown for his unstoppable Machine. Sure, it didn’t get us the presidency last time, but give it and the Bontas a couple more years. They’ll get there.
Find more of our voting guide here.